Let’s talk about how to raise your standards — how to have skinny girl standards.

In a previous video, I talked about getting rid of your fat girl identity. Because your identity is your beliefs about yourself and your life — how you see yourself. And those beliefs don’t just “sit in your head”… they determine your reality.

So if you want to go from the fat girl identity to the skinny girl identity — the healthy, confident, successful version of you — you don’t just “think differently.”

You start living differently.

And one of the biggest ways you do that is by setting new standards.

Because your standards are basically the rules you live by.

And if your standards are low… your life will be low.

If your standards don’t match the version of you that you want to become, you will keep getting the same results — the same body, the same habits, the same relationships, the same life.

So today we’re talking about how to set those standards — and how to actually stick to them.

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Why Standards Matter

It’s one thing to say, “I’m not the fat girl anymore.”

It’s another thing to act like it.

Setting standards gives you a blueprint for what you expect from yourself, what you tolerate from others, and what kind of lifestyle you’re building.

When you set standards, you take your power back.

You show yourself — and the world — that you’re serious about becoming a new person.

And here’s the biggest part:

Your standards repel anything that doesn’t align with your new identity.

People. Opportunities. Situations. Old habits.

They can’t stay if they don’t fit.

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Standard #1: Define Who You Want to Be (Not Just a Weight)

Some of you are like, “Whitney, I just want to be skinny. I want to be 120, 130 pounds.”

Okay. Great. That’s a goal.

But if weight loss is your only goal, you’re not actually building your ideal self.

Because losing weight can change a lot… but it’s not the key to ultimate confidence, success, and a whole new life by itself.

So define the whole version of you.

Ask yourself:

• Do you want to be more confident?
• More successful?
• More social?
• More disciplined?
• Smarter? More interesting?
• Someone who reads books and has better vocabulary?
• Someone with hobbies and a life that actually feels exciting?

Then get specific:

What’s her style? Her archetype?
Is she preppy and polished? Sexy and mysterious? Soft and feminine? Bold and magnetic?

What does she eat?
What does she watch?
Where does she go?
Who does she hang out with?
What books does she read?
What does she wear?
What’s her “vibe”?

Because the details matter.

And here’s something important:

When Whitney lost 100 pounds as a teen, it wasn’t just about the weight. She wanted the full glow-up: friends, confidence, hobbies, a real high school experience.

So she started living like that person before she was “ready.”

She forced herself to talk to people.
She dressed better even while still overweight.
She joined clubs.
She spoke up in class.
She started becoming the person she wanted to be while she was losing the weight.

And that matters because when you start succeeding in other areas, you feel better about yourself — and then weight loss becomes easier.

Confidence fuels discipline.

And discipline fuels results.

So if you keep saying:
“I’ll do all the fun things after I lose weight.”

You’re delaying your life.

You don’t build your ideal identity by waiting.

You build it by acting like her now — even in small ways.

Put on eyeliner.
Brush your hair.
Wear something better.
Sign up for the class.
Talk to someone.

You cannot become a new identity if you keep living like the old one.

So write it down: everything you want to be — even the tiny details — and start working on it now.

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Standard #2: Decide What You Will No Longer Accept

From yourself.
From other people.
From your environment.

Start with your worst habits — the ones that make you feel sick of yourself.

Maybe it’s:

• Friday night binge drinking + takeout + dessert spiral
• Drive-thru every day
• Fries with every meal
• Mindless snacking “just because”

For the longest time you’ve treated it like “that’s just what I do.”

No.

Skinny girl standards means you draw a line:

I don’t accept this behavior from myself anymore.

You literally decide:
“I’m not the person who abuses my body anymore.”
“I’m not the person who eats mindlessly anymore.”
“I’m not the person who treats herself like garbage anymore.”

And then you make provisions so you can’t slip into the old pattern.

• If Friday night is your danger zone, schedule a workout class Friday night.
• If drive-thru is your weakness, drive a different way home.
• If you always get fries, your new standard is salad.

This is where you have to be tough.

Because change is not “natural.”
It requires discipline and intentionality.

The craving won’t magically disappear.

You just remind yourself:

“We don’t do that anymore.”
“That’s not my identity.”

And over time, it becomes automatic.

Just like how she stopped getting candy at the grocery checkout — not because someone forced her, but because it didn’t align anymore. Eventually it didn’t even cross her mind.

That’s what standards do.

They change what feels normal.

And quick note: this isn’t about perfection.

You might binge sometimes. You might mess up.

That doesn’t mean you “failed.”

It means you’re building awareness and intention — and the more awareness you have, the less you can hide behind excuses.

Excuses kill your power.

Awareness gives it back.

Now apply this to people and situations too:

If you have low standards for yourself, you often accept low standards in relationships, friendships, jobs, dating.

So you have to decide:
“I don’t tolerate this anymore.”
“I’m not dating that type anymore.”
“I’m not staying in environments that pull me down anymore.”

When you stop accepting low standards, your world changes — but you have to be persistent.

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Standard #3: Choose Your Non-Negotiables

Non-negotiables are the habits that determine your life.

They’re not “if I feel like it.”

They’re who you are now.

Example: when she was losing weight, she made working out at least 3 days a week non-negotiable.

If she didn’t go Monday, she went Tuesday.
If not Tuesday, then Thursday.

But she got it done.

And she told people no.

Because her standards mattered more than their opinions.

Another rule she followed:
Don’t go more than two days without working out.

Because that “little break” turns into a week… then a month… then you’re back to your old identity.

So pick your non-negotiables:

• 3 workouts a week
• daily walk
• protein at every meal
• water target
• meal prep Sunday
• no drive-thru weekdays
• gym class M/W/F
• green juice every morning

Whatever fits your goals.

And if you can be consistent scrolling your phone for hours…
and consistent brushing your teeth…
you can be consistent with a routine.

You make time for what matters.

So decide: this is what you do now.

If you want the results of the slim goddess…
start living like her.

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Standard #4: Make Your Standards Ambitious… but Attainable

Yes, act like her.

But don’t be delusional.

If you’ve never run a mile, you’re not running 26 miles tomorrow.

Start where you are:

• walk a mile
• then jog a mile
• then build up

And sometimes you may need to lower standards temporarily — not because you’re weak, but because you’re trying to do too much at once.

If you overload yourself, fail, and then spiral, your fat girl identity will jump in and say:

“See? We can’t do it.”

So pick standards that are achievable daily, then level them up.

Keep the ultimate goddess in sight…
but climb in steps.

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Standard #5: Stay Strong When You Get Tested

This is the part nobody talks about enough:

It’s easy to set standards when you’re motivated.

But motivation fades.

And then something will happen:

• you get sick
• you have a bad day
• people guilt-trip you
• friends try to pull you back
• the ex comes back
• the old habits feel “comfortable”

That’s when the universe tests you.

Really it’s your old identity reaching for comfort.

It’s asking: Are you serious?

You don’t have to be perfect.

But you do have to be consistent.

Because if you stop showing up, you will slide back into the old you.

Don’t let the fat girl identity win.
Don’t let the lower identity win.

You get up and try again — every day.

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Wrap-Up

You can’t change your body, health, and identity without changing the rest of your life.

And you can’t change the rest of your life without changing your identity, health, and body.

They work together.

So: define the girl.
raise your standards.
choose your non-negotiables.
build realistic habits.
stay strong when tested.

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Want more support?

If you want deeper guidance in reshaping your mindset and identity, check out my book 1 Year, 100 Pounds, where I break down exactly how I lost 100 pounds at 14 and maintained it.

And if you want a structured system to guide your transformation, my 1 Year New You Guided Weight Loss Journals walk you step-by-step through a full year of habit building, tracking, and mindset work.

Links are below.

See you next time.