At 14 years old, I weighed 230 pounds. I was obese and had been for my entire childhood. But two weeks before my freshman year in high school began, I decided I was going to change that. 

One year later, I weighed almost exactly 100 pounds less. My body had completely transformed and so did my life. 

A few years later I wrote a book about my experience, 1 Year 100 Pounds, which you can find on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. In my book I talk about how I lost the weight and give you some tough love advice for being successful in weight loss yourself. 

What I didn’t talk about much was my experience going from being the bullied “fat girl” to not only becoming skinny, but becoming a model. 

I went from being bullied my whole life for being “ugly”, to being praised for being beautiful. It was a surreal experience but one I’ve learned some valuable life lessons from. 

Fat Discrimination and Pretty Privilege Are Real

A lot changes when you go from being the bullied fat girl to a model. The most significant change is how people treat you. You’re 100% treated differently when you’re fat versus when you’re skinny. You’re treated even better when you’re skinny and pretty. 

This probably doesn’t shock you. We live in a world where you’re judged based on your appearance. Whether right or wrong, that’s just the way it is. 

When I was fat, I was very aware of how others treated me badly. I was very aware that the only reason they treated me so poorly was because I was fat. They told me as much, I made no mistake. 

When I lost the weight and became pretty, how people treated me was wildly different. 

It was amazing how much nicer people were to me in my new body. People actually looked me in the eye when talking to me, instead of pretending I didn’t exist. 

I could walk down school hallways or be in public spaces without hearing snickers from random strangers. Losing weight allowed me to be treated like a person instead of the butt of the joke. 

People Will Always Find a Reason To Hate

Although in general you get treated much better as a thinner person, and even better as a pretty person, that doesn’t mean everyone will like you. 

There will always be someone who dislikes you for one reason or another. However, sometimes that reason is that you are skinnier or prettier than them. 

Once I became pretty, the mean girls were mean to me not for being fat, but because of jealousy. What I found most surprising was that some of these mean girls were not your stereotypical “mean girl”. 

Some of these mean girls were themselves the bigger girls or less conventionally attractive girls. You know, girls who a year before would have been on my team. Except now that I was skinny, I was no longer accepted by them. 

The lesson learned here is that people will judge you regardless of what you look like. People will also treat you differently based on how they perceive you and how your presence makes them feel. 

Their treatment of you has less to do with you and more to do with them. Be careful of who you choose to be around. 

Becoming Pretty Doesn’t Make Your Life Perfect

My life one hundred percent became better after I lost 100 pounds, but it wasn’t perfect. Sure, people were nicer to me, I had a lot more confidence, but it didn’t make all of my problems go away. 

I still had insecurities and still had to find my place in the world, like anybody. Though I could go anywhere and largely expect to not be discriminated against because of my weight, that didn’t mean everyone I encountered treated me kindly. 

Again, there will be people who dislike you for any reason, whether because you’re too fat or too thin, too ugly or too pretty, too loud or too quiet. 

Pretty privilege is real but it doesn’t mean you get everything handed to you. It may expose you to better opportunities, but nothing is guaranteed. 

At the end of the day, I still had obstacles to overcome and had to work hard to overcome them. 

I Was Worthy at Every Size

Growing up being bullied, I was made to feel less than. I received messaging not only from my bullies but from society in general that as a fat female, I had no value. 

Our society teaches women and girls that they are only worthy of love, success, and happiness if they are deemed attractive. Since I wasn’t attractive, I wasn’t worthy of these things. 

I internalized the hate and discrimination I met with being a fat girl. I did feel less than and not worthy of love and attention. 

When I lost the weight, I immediately received these things. It helped my confidence blossom and I loved my new body and my new life. However, I slightly resented it also. 

It was tough knowing that the only reason people were treating me better was because I was now skinnier. I was very aware of the fact that should I gain weight again, their treatment of me would also change. It solidified my feeling that I was only worthy of love and attention when I was skinny. 

It took me a long time, but eventually I realized that I was always worthy of these things. 

Because even though my body changed, who I was at the core never changed. 

I came to understand that I was never deserving of the poor treatment I received from others. I always had value, they just didn’t see it. Even worse, I believed them. 

If I’d Known Then What I Know Now

To sum it up, experiencing life as a fat girl vs a model taught me a lot about the nature of society. Appearances do matter and do determine how others treat you. 

However, your appearance does not determine your worth. Don’t let others determine your worth based on their perception of you–what matters is your perception of yourself. 

If I’d known what I know now back when I was still the “fat girl”, I would have cared less about what others thought of me. I wouldn’t have yearned for their attention or love, because most of them weren’t worthy of mine. 

I would have still strived for self improvement but not have placed as much importance on being deemed attractive. Overall, I would have realized that who I was, was pretty great and that what others thought about me, was their problem. 

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Thanks for reading! If you’d like to hear more about my weight loss story, check out my book 1 Year 100 Pounds. 

Also, be sure to follow me on Instagram, Tik Tok, and YouTube for weight loss tips and motivation!